To 22 year old me…

Listen to me here love,

I know that you’re beginning this new phase of life with no idea of what’s coming. I know you’re worried and you’re scared and you’re terrified. But scared is good. Terrified is even better, because babygirl, you can use that as a weapon you know. You can use scared to go forth and take what you need, and say no when you need to, and ask when you need to, because you already know what scared feels like; you already know what not having feels like so why not try?

Babygirl, I also know that you live inside that head of yours. That you beat yourself and blame yourself for not reaching far enough or not trying hard enough or not trying at all… but you see, what’s done is done. You just have to learn from them that’s all!! So on the days when you feel like you hate yourself, on the days that being you gets a little harder, on the days when you just are tired of it all, babygirl, I want to tell you this… in my 21 years of living, I haven’t met anyone quite like you. You’re amazing and brilliant and radiant and everything that you need to be. So stop, and take a breath. Cry if you must, and wipe those tears off your cheeks and begin again because the world needs a little bit of you to make it a better place.

Most importantly love, learn to let go… of places, of people, of things that break your heart. There are billions of people you could meet who’ll make life all the more interesting for you, so what’s one person in the face of all humanity. There’s also a vast array of things just waiting for you to take and countless places waiting for you to go. But it’s also okay to miss people after letting go. So on those days, I implore you to be a little kinder to yourself, to remind yourself that you are human and it’s okay… and everything will eventually get better.

And babygirl, do not forget to eat life with big spoons and to shower yourself with spades of love…

Yours truly,
Retiring 21 year old me.